Spiritual Seekers and Spiritual Finders
The Relationship Course
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A Practical Guide for Changing Thoughts, Beliefs, and Emotional Reactions
A guide through the Self Mastery Course by Gary van Warmerdam
In the world of spiritual growth and personal development are seekers who take upon a path in their life of self discovery. It will have a different emphasis for each person, perhaps, Spiritual, Emotional, Mental, Relationship, or Fun. Amongst all the spiritual seekers or personal development workshop takers ,there are occasionally "Finders".
Spiritual Finders are the people that take the process to an emotional level. Finders are looking for more than just an academic understanding of Relationships and the Spiritual. They want more than to "understand;" they want to "live" and “experience” their lives differently. This means personal change and personal change involves dropping old opinions. Finders learn to keep their mouths shut when there is an unpleasant urge to open it. They also learn to open their mouths and speak up when they would have been otherwise uncomfortable and just "swallowed it" in the past. These are the “Finders”.
How can you spot a finder? They will do the uncomfortable. They will sacrifice the perceived comfort of an old behavior, opinion, belief, or point of view, and do something different. When it comes to our habitual patterns of living, different is usually uncomfortable.
Spiritual Seekers, on the other hand, like to get all the "good knowledge" of what "should be" done and how things "should be" and then create wonderful scenarios in their mind. They also might use that knowledge to inform other people how “they should" be different and how “they should” act different.
Spiritual Seekers will also use all that "good knowledge" to tell themselves how they should be. Then the judge part of their mind finds even more fault with themselves because they now have this higher standard to live up to. Big expectations are a set up for judgment and can lead to feeling like a failure. This creates even more emotional suffering. This is why I don't teach goals in the beginning. Goals can be beneficial, but not if the judge in the mind will use them for self rejection. IF this is the case, it may be emotionally beneficial to set the goal to be free of self judgment. After we eliminate that critical voice in our heads then we can set goals without being victimized by them.
But I digress. Where was I? Yes, Spiritual Seekers. About Seekers: they are not a problem. No, I'm not saying that at all. I was a Seeker; for years I was. I was a seeker until the way I was living became too emotionally painful. Then I had to become a Finder. At this point I was willing to make the temporary uncomfortable changes in my behaviors, opinions, beliefs, and point of view so that I could be happy long term.
All Finders start out as Seekers. Some make the transition quickly, some slowly. Sometimes we act as both at the same time. Often a person on their path will shift back and forth depending on the issue. If it "appears" too challenging at a point, a Finder might shy away for a bit. It's not a bad thing, its just part of the path. I'm in awe of anyone who will have the courage to begin to deal directly with their mind, fears, and emotions. It is a formidable challenge. Anyone on a path to personal discovery, happiness, Love, or the Spiritual, etc. has my greatest respect.
How do you tell the difference in someone operating as a Seeker or as a Finder?
The Seeker engages in an informational process. The Finder engages in an emotional process. Don’t expect to be able to see this accurately in anybody else. It is only important to be aware of yourself.
There is a risk in writing this. You might read this and fill your head with information and ideas. But then again, it might also put a few ideas in your head about paying attention to what you feel and becoming a Finder.