Comments for Happiness » Happiness

Comment on Controlling Relationships by Gerard van Warmerdam

Gerard van Warmerdam — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 02:56:37 +0000

If you are one of those people trapped in the dynamic of controlling relationships you can change the behavior and emotions. The steps to doing so are in the Self Mastery course located on this site.

http://www.pathwaytohappiness.com/self_mastery.htm

Comment on Insecurity in Relationships by Gary

Gary — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 04:14:28 +0000

Perhaps there is a good aspect to the time apart. For instance, you might discover that you want to be with someone that you don’t fight with and who doesn’t push you away.

Comment on Be Impeccable with Your Word by Gary

Gary — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 04:11:54 +0000

I have found in my journey over years of spending time with don Miguel that my understanding of “Impeccable” has evolved. It doesn’t mean what it use to. I didn’t have the insight then that I do now. I’m also not clinging to my definition. I remain flexible with the intent that I will expand my understanding in years to come.

Comment on Be Impeccable with Your Word by Rosalyn Mantle

Rosalyn Mantle — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 19:41:13 +0000

Being Impeccable with your word means something entirely different to me. Don Miguel explains that each of us live within a “dream.” It is essentially our perception of our reality. It consists of our morals, our values, our mores’ and those concepts we have learned by virtue of our family, our society, and our influences.
Our word is like a sword and can slice through the belief systems of others.
Here is an example. I am a very intense person. I have a lot of energy and work hard because I was taught by my parents that hard work will result in prosperity. To me, having motivation, being active and working are all positive attributes. They taught us to be very observant. However, I met a man who criticized me and said, you worry a lot, you are very intense, and you sweat the small stuff and are not self assured.
Those negative perceptions he had of me caused me a great deal of sadness. What I had been taught were positives he had assessed as negatives. Suddenly, I began to question my dream. That is what is meant by being impeccable with your word. You must be aware of the feelings of others. You may not say something necessarily unkind, just unaware of the dream of another and what you say may destroy their perception of happiness. It’s different than just saying unkind things to me.

Comment on Insecurity in Relationships by Kimber

Kimber — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 07:20:12 +0000

My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 Months now. And for the last 3 months we have been together 24/7 and he has done nothing but fight with me over stupid stuff. Now he says we need to kinda take a break and work more on our friend ship then our relationship. I know he is right but at the same time he is using that as a excuse to push me away. I’m I just worrying to much? I don’t want to loose him and I need to fix this what do I do?

Comment on Controlling Relationships by kelly

kelly — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 02:12:21 +0000

i can relate to the story on so many levels. only i feel like im “jack”
my bf shane is jill to many degrees. i feel like nothing i can do is ever good enough or that im never doing any thing right. ive told him many times that when he points out my faults or mistakes that it hurts my feeling and evern tho he says hes not doing it to be mean he does it alot and i start to think that he is infact doing it to be a jerk and some times i think he gets it but then later hell say that his dad was the same way to him. i dunno what that has to do with any thing besides him already knowing how horrible it made him feel so why do it to me? i always feel like everything that we do has to be done the way he wants it done and its sooo frastrating! hes very crital about alot things and his opinions can hurt too.

any time we have a argument or fight no matter how big or small if i say “im sorry” and own what i did wrong its never good enough for him or if i feel like hes in the wrong he almost never appologizes because he doesnt think hes ever wrong or can do wrong. its almost like he feel better when he knows hes in the right all the time and thats more important to him and our relationship suffers because of it. i guess my biggest worry is that because we are exspecting our first child together(in jan) im affaid that he’ll be the one over my shoulder telling me and pointing out all the things that im doing wrong and thats just gonna make things so much more worse and stressful!

were not talking right now because hes upset with me over a stupid argument we had 2 days ago. i said i was sorry but hes still mad. i dunno what eles i can do and because of him being mad even after i appologized to him he went out and stayed out till the wee hours of the morning getting drunk and not even telling me where or when he was gonna be home. i would never so that to him..its just so unfair i just wish he would grow up!

i need help!

Comment on Overcoming Self Judgment by One

One — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 14:03:31 +0000

Hi There,

The material about Anger is very good indeed. Wonderful. Lovely.

God Bless you.

Love for me Love for all
OneManyAllOne

Comment on Controlling Relationships by mommyto2boys

mommyto2boys — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 14:16:07 +0000

My husband (married only a few weeks now, but have lived together for 2 years) is very insecure. His ex-wife cheated on him and he is convinced that I will/am doing the same. His words: if I turn off my phone at night its because I’m getting calls I don’t want him to see; if I dress nice to go to work, I’m meeting someone at lunch; if I’m 15 minutes late getting home at night from work, I was with someone; if we are walking through a store and a man looks at me, its because I wanted him to look at me. He tells me if I didn’t do these things that he wouldn’t be thinking these things. I’m to the point now where I’m scared. I’m scared of what his reaction will be all the time. I’m constanting walking on eggshells. We’ve been to counseling before regarding this and he understood at that point that he did have insecurities and issues from his first marriage, but why have they returned and will they ever go away? Question: if he truly believes all that he thinks is happening, why is he with me?

Comment on Controlling Relationships by In Turmoil

In Turmoil — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 17:23:40 +0000

I am the controlling one in our relationship/marriage , even though it has gotten better I still sometimes feel lost. I had very strong jealousy issues and they still rise today. I was sexually abused as a young girl, when I see my husband watch a program that has a sexually explicit scene in it, or see him glance an at an attractive female , my stomach does somersaults. I/we are working on all of this together and me separately as well. He has changed SO much for me(not my request), BUT I no longer want him stepping on eggshells. Our lives together have come to a crossroads where we were to end it or “fix” it….we are working on the fixing it. I believe my husband finally gets “it”, that he can’t make me happy…I need to make ME happy. I am doing everything I know to control my anger, change my thoughts, read the books, listen to the audio, see the therapists etc, but sometimes it’s just so overwhelming…and I want “it” to all go away. thank-you gary for your amazing gifts.

Comment on Controlling Relationships by Gary

Gary — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 04:07:43 +0000

That’s the bad news. The good news is that you can change.

The important question, the one that you need to answer out loud, is, “What action are you going to take?”
Gary