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You have the power to create happiness through the expression of love and truth. You also have the power to create emotional suffering in your self, and in others depending on how you use your word. When you hurt your self or another there is a way to ease and heal that suffering in your self and in another. That way is forgiveness.

Have you taken time to contemplate where your emotions come from? Actually they don’t come from anywhere. You create them. When you create sadness you then feel the sadness you create. When feel anger it is because you created that emotion.
Misunderstanding Your Emotions

We are not used to thinking of our emotions as something we create. Common syntax of language produces the misinterpretation that emotions come from something or someone external. How many times have we heard or said words to the effect, “He/She makes me so angry/frustrated/sad.” Or perhaps the same reference to the opposite emotions. “He/She makes me so happy.” This phrasing is so common in language that we overlook the disempowering paradigm it creates.

Thoughts like these imply to your mind that an external circumstance like traffic or another person is determining your emotional state. Your belief in words with these assumptions can have a hypnotizing effect. Their impact builds through time and repetition until it really appears that it is about someone or something external. When mental patterns like this occur other hypnotic beliefs are forming as well. You are also creating a false self image as a person powerless over your emotions.

By believing a few symbolic words and their underlying assumptions, it can feel like love, joy and happiness are beyond your reach.

Aside from creating a victimizing paradigm of beliefs it also induces an interesting compensating strategy. If your happiness is experienced as a result of external people or events then you will attempt to control people and events in order to be happy. The reverse happens when you interact with people who live by this emotionally powerless paradigm. They will attempt to control you in order to satisfy their external need for happiness. Living by these beliefs generally puts emotional strain and drama on a relationship.

From Interpretation to Expression

People will say that their spouse or partner makes them happy. This is a misinterpretation. It’s really their expression of love for their wife, husband, or lover that is creating their state of joy. When they no longer love that person, nothing that person does will “make” them happy. At that point they might say that their ex is “making” them angry or upset. Also not true. They are making themselves angry or upset with the story they believe and express about their ex.

Years later they might have forgiven their ex about the issues of the past. They look upon that relationship as a growth experience and perceive it with gratitude and fondness. Their ex may not have changed much over time but the emotional expression towards them has. How we feel emotionally about someone is our creation. How we feel changes depending on how we express our story about them.

The secret element determining your emotions is in the interpretation of the story you believe and express. The facts might be the same but how you interpret them changes your emotional experience.

Some people say that time heals all wounds. This isn’t true. People can take anger and resentment to their grave. What heals emotional wounds is changing your belief in the interpretation of the story you have about someone. When you adopt a different interpretation, you change the expression of emotions. The challenge here is that you really have to change what you believe. Saying it is not enough.

One way of changing your story about the past is forgiveness. Forgiveness changes your interpretations and frees you from continued expressions of judgment and anger. You have the power to change your interpretation and emotions quickly, slowly or not at all.

The Secret World of Interpretations

If two people experience the same event they can have completely different emotional experiences. The difference is in the interpretation the mind makes. If two people are caught in the rain one might laugh at himself for forgetting his umbrella. The other might judge himself and feel like an idiot. The difference between being happy or unhappy is not controlled by circumstances like the weather, but by belief in the interpretation.

The mind is fast. It makes an interpretation in the instant between perception and emotional reaction. In that hidden moment the mind constructs a virtual reality of assumptions and calculates opinions, judgments, and reactions.

When you realize you forgot something the mind retraces where the item is, imagines how things should have happened, imagines what you should have done, makes a comparison between what you did and what you should have done, judges you based on the comparison, creates a negative self image, and then condemns you for being that false image it manufactured in it’s secret reality. Without awareness the only part you notice is the concluding comment, “I’m such an idiot,” and the corresponding emotions.

If you have awareness and pay attention you can intervene in that secret world of interpretation. Changing the interpretations your mind makes in that virtual reality will change the resulting emotional expressions. Until you unlock and change those interpretations, part of your happiness will remain a secret from you.

Most people have had their mind conditioned to interpret that happiness will result from doing things they are supposed to do or come from achieving certain goals. In this way the mind perceives love and happiness as something to be pursued and attained. That’s a very limited interpretation that fails to recognize the power you have to create emotions such as love and gratitude.

The pathway to your expression of love is the interpretations, beliefs, and perspective in the mind. It is those interpretations in the mind that control whether you will allow your self to express love, or if you will express emotions based in fear.

When you change the interpretations in that secret world of the mind, you unlock the doors that hold back your happiness. You are then free to let your love come out of you.

For practical steps you can take to take control of this secret world of assumptions and beliefs in the mind, and gain mastery over your happiness, download and listen to the mp3 audio in the Self Mastery program. The first sessions are free.

This article is posted at http://pathwaytohappiness.com/happiness/2008/04/29/secret-happiness/

There’s a lot we could say about what this brain researcher realized about the mind during her stroke, and her recovery. One point is that we have many different modalities with which to perceive the world. Whether we define our self by the limit of our bodies, or as a field of consciousness, changes how and what we perceive. Jill Bolte Taylor experienced a stroke. As a brain researcher she got to experience more than just the brain, but also the mind, consciousness, perception, and emotions.

It’s been brought to my attention that Dr Jill Bolte Taylor has written a book that relates her experience. If you are interested in learning more about the details of her experience you can find it at Amazon.

The most important aspect to master when dealing with a liar is your emotional reactions. You can’t always change the behavior of a liar, but you can change how you feel and react to them. Once you learn to change your emotions about a situation you begin to see a lot more options.

If you are honest with the situation you will realize that your happiness is more important than their behavior anyways. The motivator for wanting someone to stop lying is so that you don’t end up unhappy.

Change begins with Awareness

The first step in dealing with liars or emotional issues is awareness. With awareness you can deal with a liar without being upset. We’ll start by understanding how someone becomes a liar to begin with.

Our social conditioning has trained us to be liars to some degree. In some ways it is required of us. When you are aware of how people are socialized your expectations change. As your expectations change the judgments in your mind dissolve along with your emotional reactions to them.

This doesn’t mean you learn to condone lying or agree with it. You just no longer have emotional reactions about it. When you are aware that someone lied to you because they were trained by other people and circumstances you won’t take it personally. You then have an opportunity to deal with the situation in a way that isn’t driven out of emotional reactions.

We learned to lie in order to be polite and respectful.

Just for starters we learned to lie in order to be polite. When we were kids, and we visited relatives or friends we ate whatever they served for dinner even if we didn’t like it. If we really hated it we might have slid it under the table to the dog so it looked like we ate it. When the host asked, “How was the meal?” we did the polite thing and told them how much we enjoyed it.

We lie so we don‘t get punished or hurt

When I was in grade school I was visiting my friends house after school. One of the cool things we did was climb onto the garage roof and jump off into grass. My friend’s mom came home later in the afternoon and asked us what we had been doing all afternoon. We didn’t mention the jumping off the roof part. We lied to our parents so we didn’t get punished.

We lied in order to build trust and loyalty

If kids are playing and they break something they try to hide it. If they are playing with something that they shouldn’t play with they don’t confess the truth. Children don’t want to be punished so they lie or withhold the truth.

As a kid if we broke something like a vase while playing we made pact with our friends or sibling not to tell. When the parent asked what happened to the vase we answered, “I don’t know.” We lied to our parents in order to maintain the trust and loyalty of our friends. Of course parents don’t give up that easily. Usually kids will succumb to the pressure of their parent’s questions and tell the truth eventually. This turns the promise of loyalty and secrecy with our friend into a lie.

Without awareness we trapped our self in a conflict of agreements. You either kept the promise of secrecy to your friends by lying to your parents. Or, you told the truth to your parents and your loyalty with your friend became a lie. We end up with either our parents or our friends not trusting us.

Later in life we learn some advanced lying techniques

Lie to people with Power

Learning to lie to parents when we are kids leads to lying to other authority figures later in life. When the higher ups in the company propose a new direction or program do you tell them what you really think? Or is it easier to be quiet and not create the conflict with people who have power over your paycheck. Even when they ask for your input it makes a lot of sense to not rock the boat. It is easy to couch your words and only hint at your concerns. Depending on the power and emotional reactions of the person perhaps you keep your mouth shut altogether.

Maybe you have a relationship with your boss where you can speak freely and that can be great. But do you speak with that same freedom to the vice presidents and owners above your boss. Most people don’t. If people give their “honest opinion” their behavior is often considered inappropriate or political suicide.

Not many company cultures can handle an honest assessment of the negative side of an issue without an emotional reaction. With people who don’t take 100% responsibility for their emotions their upset will be your fault in some way. The paradigm of power over our livelihood combined with the instability of emotional reactions suggests that we lie by omission.

In all fairness it is also a rare person who can give an honest assessment of the down side that affects them without it partly motivated by their emotional reaction.

A Liar doesn‘t want to hurt people‘s feelings.

In personal relationships we lie so we don’t hurt the feelings of the people we care about. Suppose a couple is sitting at a restaurant and an attractive woman walks by. What does a man say when his partner asks, “Do you think she’s pretty?” Can the man say, “She is gorgeous?”

He can be honest if he is with a very secure woman. He can also be honest if she has pretended to be a very secure woman. (lied about her security) He can also be honest if he doesn’t care about sleeping on the couch for a while.

Men lie to women at times so that they don’t hurt the feelings of the people they care about. Men might also lie because they don’t want to be punished by the people that love them. Women lie to men for the same reasons.

You might dismiss all these examples as being “white lies.” These are small lies told to be tactful or polite. But the motivations for lying don’t change when the stakes get bigger. If a person cheated on their spouse would they hide it from them in order not to hurt their feelings? If your friend was cheating on their boyfriend would you tell the boyfriend? Would you tell him if he asked?

The motivation for lying increases in direct proportion to the emotional reaction and potential emotional pain.

We lie when we are in Emotional Denial

When something hurts our feelings we cover it up and say it is no big deal. When we are upset or sad we say we are fine. When our heart is broken we can get mad at our ex, yet we will say we don’t care about them anymore. It’s a lie.

If we didn’t care it wouldn’t matter so much emotionally. If we really didn’t care we wouldn’t be so hurt and angry. The truth is it hurts so much that we tell our selves we don’t’ care to avoid and deny the emotional pain. We lie about the emotions we feel to pretend they are not there. We lie to our self in an effort to feel better because we don’t know a different way to let go of the pain. We attempt to lie our way to happiness.

The best way to deal with people who are liars

The first and most important thing is to manage your expectations. When you have awareness of how people were socially conditioned you have an opportunity for compassion. With awareness your understanding expands and your judgments dissolve. Be honest and aware enough to recognize the socialization patterns that people face growing up. Also be aware of the consequences that telling the truth might incur.

When you realize the extent of social conditioning you gain a greater understanding for why people compensate with lies the way they do. The emotional reactions you had behind the judgments aren’t there any more.

In relationships you are responsible for your half of the emotions.

Taking care of your half means noticing where you are lying. If you are upset with someone for lying it is because you believe they should be telling the truth. Your expectation is that they should drop all their years of social conditioning overnight.

You believe they should adopt a new behavior and become a person you expect them to be. You believe they should be the image you hold in your mind about them. They are not the image in your mind that you want them to be. When you want another person to live according to your expectations you are lying to your self about who they really are.

Use Awareness to Deal with your Lies

Being aware of the image in your mind of another person and your beliefs about who they should be will give you an opportunity to change your beliefs. Being aware of the deeply embedded social conditioning that programs a person to lie will help you drop your misplaced expectations of another. Dropping your false image of them and managing your expectations will go a long ways to dissolving your emotional reactions to someone else’s socially conditioned behavior.

If you are having emotional reactions about someone who is lying then you will need to deal with your half. Your half includes the lies in your mind about who they should be.

Why People Lie

People lie because they have been conditioned through emotional reactions. Emotional reactions aren’t intellectually logical. They are more powerful than that. That’s why people lie in spite of it being the logical or intelligent thing to do. People will stop lying as they learn not to fear their own emotions or emotional reactions from others. Learning not to fear your emotions is a beginning step to being honest that leads to Self Mastery.

If a person isn’t skillful and effective at dealing with their emotions it is unwise to expect them to change the behavior of lying.
I’m not condoning, justifying, or defending lying. I’m attempting to expand the conversation. If you are going to deal with liars or your own lying you will need to deal with the emotional reactions that drive the behavior. Whether the pattern was learned from the past, or you are afraid of consequences of being punished today it is about the emotions. When people learn how to master their emotions they won’t fear honesty and the Truth.

Boundaries

When you have dissolved your emotional reactions to someone that is lying then it becomes a simple process of boundaries. But that doesn’t mean that you need to wait until you have dealt with your emotions before you put up boundaries. Putting up boundaries is a good way to protect your self from your emotional reactions until you clean them up.

Use of boundaries also means you might want to put a boundary on what you believe. Stop believing what they tell you.  Living by the assumption that a liar will tell you the truth is just another way of lying to your self.

For exercises in how to deal with your mind, including emotional reactions, expectations, and changing beliefs download the free audio sessions in the Self Mastery course. I also suggest you listen to the free mp3 audio podcasts on Awareness and Consciousness.

Interesting story about the challenge of radical honesty versus lying.

Words to read on the internet, blogs, books, and magazines articles,
Talk from the news, friends, parents, radio, television, and their own chatter
Thoughts from the different voices in their head with conflicting points of view

Their mind is filled to the degree that it has become a world of white noise. The screen is so busy that very little of what people listen to or read changes their life.

When any real wisdom with the potential for life changing realizations gets through, they give it so little attention that it has no more impact than a quick blip on the corner of the screen.

Lisa pointed out that it didn’t sound like words had lost their meaning or power. To her it sounded like people had lost their ability to listen.

I heard her.

We don’t always get to see those critical moments of decision coming. We can’t prepare for them once they arrive. If we are to make wise decisions in those moments we will have to prepare for them before they arrive.

To give yourself the best preparation for those moments of milliseconds, develop your awareness so you make better choices. Awareness will allow you to maintain your perspective of important strategic goals in moments where you would otherwise react.

Being able to maintain perspective in potentially life changing moments is what can make the difference between success and failure, or between happiness and regret.
I’ll use an example about basketball to make my point. It’s a bit of a long story but I think it illustrates how you can destroy a lot of hard work in a matter of milliseconds.

In game 4 of the NBA basketball playoff series between the Phoenix Suns and the San Antonio Spurs there was an incident that changed the course of the Suns playoff chances.

The Phoenix Suns had the win in hand and only 18 seconds left when Robert Horry of the Spurs flagrantly fouled Steve Nash of the Suns. It was a senseless hockey check of Nash into the scorer’s table. It cost Robert Horry a two game suspension.

But in the spark of a moment, what the Phoenix Suns players did to themselves with their emotional reaction was far worse.

Seeing their floor leader get hip checked, Boris Diaw and Amare Stoudemire got up from the bench and headed off to engage the enemy. Diaw and Stoudemire are two of the Phoenix Suns top players.

They caught hold of themselves shy of any confrontation and returned to the bench area but damage was already done. By leaving the vicinity of the bench during a court incident they had violated a well known NBA rule to prevent brawling. Both Boris Diaw and Amare Stoudemire were suspended for critical Game 5 of the best of 7 series.

Without the play of Diaw and Stoudemire the Suns were crippled in game 5. They lost and went down 3 games to 2 in the series. The next game was in San Antonio where the Spurs had the home court advantage that helped them win the deciding game and close out the series.

The San Antonio Spurs are headed off to play for the NBA championship. The Phoenix Suns will sit in front of their televisions and watch other people live out what they dreamed and worked hard for an opportunity to do.

What’s the difference between playing for the NBA championship and going home early? Milliseconds.

What does NBA playoffs and championship basketball have to do with you and your life? Milliseconds.

You and everyone else you know makes decisions in milliseconds. Sometimes they are snap decisions. Often they are emotional reactions where the bigger consequences are not considered. The direction of your life changes depending on what you do, and what you refrain from doing in those milliseconds.

In the period of milliseconds two players lost their perspective and ran on the court to fight for their friend. Did Steve Nash need their intervention? No. The hip check was over and the opponent was walking away. Referees were on the scene to put things in order. Trainers were going over to check on Steve Nash. Stoudemire and Diaw’s involvement wasn’t going to improve anything about the situation. But they lost the perspective in the heat of the moment to consider any of that.

I understand helping and protecting team mates and friends. But what I wouldn’t want to do is jump in unnecessarily, get suspended, and cost my team mates an opportunity to win an NBA championship. That’s not helping my team mates. I’m not sitting in judgment condemning what they did from my vantage point days later. I’m just using the incident to make a point about the difference between choices and reactions in your life.

By losing their perspective they lost the ability to make a better choice. That loss off choice for a split second added to season ending consequences.

It’s easy to see where milliseconds matter to NBA players, but where do milliseconds make a difference in your life?

What happens in the moments leading up to firing a comment at your boss or an employee that sets the relationship off balance? It might send you looking for another job?

What happens in the milliseconds that lead up to an angry outburst? What if you could shift to a different point of view and make a different choice in that instant?

What happens in a moment of emotional reaction like jealousy when you say something you regret? Perhaps you say something that you can’t take back.

What happens when you are considering asking someone out, but then tell your self, “No they probably wouldn’t be interested in me?” In those milliseconds the mind creates a feeling of insecurity, and then that feeling determines your actions, and inactions? You talk your self out of taking action for what you want.

What happens during those holidays with family where in milliseconds a family gathering can turn into an emotional blow out?

In milliseconds reactions happen that cause relationships to break up. In flashes family members decide not to speak to each other and are estranged for years. In milliseconds people quit their jobs.

Paying attention to milliseconds may not seem like a big deal until you see the chain reaction of consequences for years afterwards. When you see the link between milliseconds and consequences, the milliseconds become as important as years of your life. You discover that you want control over what happens in those milliseconds.

The more self awareness you have heading into those unforeseen moments the less chance emotional reactions have to overpower you. When you learn to manage and master the choices made in milliseconds, everything else about your life becomes much easier.

For an excellent read on understanding decisions and reactions made in milliseconds is the best selling book Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking. Malcolm Gladwell does an amazing job of detailing the process of choices made in an instant.  He points out that with practice you can change how you react and make a better choices.

For exercises awareness so that you can gain control over those milliseconds I suggest the Self Mastery Audio program. The first few sessions are free for you to sample. They will guide you to focus your attention on those critical moments and prepare you to choose more wisely.

All of life happens in the smallest of moments. The opportunity to change the direction of your life lies in the smallest slices of time.

What people are surprised to find out is that if they are taking things personally, then they are not being impeccable.

What does it mean to be impeccable with your word?

First of all we have to consider our Word to be much more than the construct of words and phrases that comes out of our mouth. Our Word is the force that we create with and includes everything we express. It includes our emotions, physical actions, thoughts and our attitude. Walking around being silent while filled with hate or self rejection doesn’t meet the meaning of impeccability.

Expressing yourself impeccably is to express your self in the direction of truth and love. This includes expressing love, respect, and acceptance for your self. The emotions of jealousy, envy, frustration, and sadness fall into the category of not being impeccable. Anger and fear usually fall into the category of not being impeccable also. However there is the exception of a real life threatening situation where natural fight or flight fear and anger are come from your emotional integrity. However in most cases people don’t face real life threatening situations very often.

Losing your job or finding out your partner is cheating on you doesn’t count as a real fight or flight situation. These may be painful situations emotionally as life is changing and the ego shattered, but the life of your physical body isn’t in any danger. Most of the time anger and fear seem to fall into the category of not being impeccable.

I’ve heard people say that they were speaking “their truth” about a situation and so they believed they were being impeccable. When people claim to be speaking “their truth”, they are often speaking their opinion that they believe is right. Because they believe their opinion doesn’t mean it is the truth. To anyone else it is just an opinion and can be filled with judgments and unpleasant emotions. When you are impeccable you don’t need to defend what you say by claiming it is impeccable.

Another aspect of being impeccable is to be with out fault or blame. That means to refrain from expressing criticisms, judgments, or find fault with your self, or someone else. Being without criticism in your expression doesn’t just mean with the words you speak, but with the thoughts you think also. Refraining from blaming people will lead you to take total responsibility for your life.

While this may seem like a pretty big shift in our consciousness it gets bigger when we expand the meaning to include not finding fault with the world. Being impeccable means seeing the world without rejecting it for the way it is. It doesn’t mean being in denial about the way people mistreat each. It just means that you don’t judge or reject people or the world for they way it is. Cleaning up the judgments in our mind can seem like quite the task when we consider how easy it is to become critical of things like politics, pollution, violence, crime, or traffic. It may take a while to empty our mind of criticisms but it can be done.

You might think of being impeccable as being compassionate and accepting of others. You recognize and are aware of what people do, but you find a way to accept them as they are. When you see they don’t know the number of ways they are hurting each other and themselves you can forgive them because they don’t know what they are doing.

How are you not being impeccable when you take something personally?

When you take something personally you feel offended. Perhaps you are offended because someone said you were stupid. If you had 100% faith in your intelligence you would know that it was just their opinion and you wouldn’t believe their opinion. When you are aware and don’t believe them it doesn’t hurt emotionally.

If you feel hurt it is because you believed some part of the idea that you are stupid. When you express even a tiny bit of your faith in that opinion of stupidity you are expressing your faith in a self rejection. Your faith is a powerful part of your Word. Expressing your Word in a manner of self rejection is how we take something personally.

Being impeccable with your Word is about being truthful, honest, and kind. It is very simple, but not necessarily easy. We have learned many habits over the years that condition us to use our emotional and verbal expressions in unkind ways. Just the way that we talk to ourselves in our own mind can be so unpleasant.

To keep this one simple agreement to be impeccable with your Word will require some time and practice to master. Don’t assume that you will master it in your lifetime. At the same time, don’t assume that you won’t. Just know that every year that you become more impeccable with your Word you will have more love and happiness in your life and relationships.

A quick reference as to what the Four Agreements are:

Be Impeccable with your Word
Don’t Take Anything Personally
Don’t Make Assumptions
Always Do Your Best

I just experience”d this jealousy reaction. I have a girlfriend for a year now, but still struggle with the fact that sometimes I feel I’ve been giving in too much and that she’s already in power and she could lie to me cause she knows she has me where she wants. In my society, men are the one in control and having a serious relationship with just one girl and give everything to her it’s not seen as a very male thing (I’m Dominican by the way). I feel that I express all my feeling and worry too much about this relationship. I was cheated on and lied to before in past relationships.

Is it good to give everything or is OK to hold back a little sometimes?

Is there an answer to why I feel so insecure in a relationship and so secure when I’m single?.

Thank you for taking time to read this.
LM

Insecurity in Relationships.

“Is it good to give everything or is it okay to hold back a little sometimes?”

What is everything? If giving all your love is the question, then no problem. It will be a pleasure for you to express all your love to your partner. For that matter it will be a pleasure for you to express your love to any one. You can let that emotion come out of you all the time to everyone and they don’t even have to know. Most people will not even notice. With an intimate partner you can express your love in many ways and it can be even more enjoyable.

However, if giving “everything” to your partner includes giving all your fears and worry of being cheated that you carry from a past relationship you will fill yourself and her with fear and worry. Then I see no value to spreading the emotional dis-ease of fear and worry.

If giving “everything” to your partner includes the choices over your life, opinions of your self worth, and how you feel emotionally, this is very dangerous. It could become hell emotionally for you depending on how she treats you. You might end up in fear, walking on egg shells afraid of her opinion. Why would you give someone that power over how you feel emotionally? Why give the power over your happiness to someone else? Their opinion is nothing more than a conceptual idea and only has power over your emotions if you agree to it. (I suggest listening and practicing the first two free audio sessions in self mastery to better understand what I am trying to explain.)

“Is there an answer to why I feel so insecure in a relationship and so secure when I‘m single?”

Yes. You feel insecure because you base your self worth on what your partner happens to be thinking of you in that moment. That criteria for self worth is as solid as the thoughts that pass through her mind. It can change in any moment and is a very insecure foundation for your self esteem and emotional state to stand on.

The feeling that you could fall is because your self image can be pushed over by something as small as a comment. Or even by your own assumption of what someone else is thinking. That is part of what creates the feeling of insecurity.

In giving “everything”, does that mean being completely honest? In being completely honest should you share with her about your fears and insecurity? That depends. What does she do with the information you give her about your self? Does she recognize the courage it takes to be that honest and respect and honor you for your courage? Or does she use it later to manipulate and control you with judgments and criticisms that push your emotional reactions?

If it is the latter, and she uses what you share to hurt you emotionally, then there is no need to gossip about your self to your girlfriend. Don’t give her “everything” (everything being all the thoughts you have about your self. Thoughts that aren’t even true by the way.) Giving information to someone that will mistreat you with it just amounts to conspiring with others to abuse your self emotionally. It is for reasons like this, and many others that impeccability of your word is so critical in creating happiness in your relationships and your life.

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For a process to overcome your insecurity and gain mastery over your emotions download and listen to the Self Mastery Audio Sessions.

Understanding and overcoming insecurity

If someone tells you that they can empower or enable you it plants the idea in your mind that you are currently powerless. This subtle idea can shift your self image so that you see yourself as a person that needs help from outside. While you may benefit from applying the tools and techniques being offered, the powerless self image is detrimental.

Without awareness you can become hypnotized by the powerless meanings and images within symbols of words. This might be an effective marketing technique as it makes organizations services more appealing when a person is in a mindset of feeling powerless. However I doubt that organizations have the awareness of these subtle messages they are sending. If they did they would likely shift their language.

The truth is that every person has extraordinary power. It is what they do with it that is dis-empowering. Many people invest the power of their belief in conceptual ideas that they are unworthy, unlovable or trapped in some area of their life. If a person puts the power of their belief into the idea that they can’t change something then it will be true for them. In this way people use their extraordinary power of belief to hypnotize themselves into being powerless.

Even people that act as victims and feel depressed about their life are incredibly powerful. It is an act of power to invest so much belief in stories of poor self image that generate emotions of depression. Just the energy that it takes to generate emotions is an incredible amount of power.

People don’t need to be empowered. They already have plenty of it. What many people don’t have is awareness of how they use their power. Nor do they have effective techniques to unhook their attention from self hypnotic stories of powerlessness and create a new self image.

One of he most empowering things people can do is to un-hypnotize themselves from these limiting beliefs.

The mind can work at subtle yet powerful levels. Be wary of when someone offers to empower you. Be watchful that you don’t assume to be powerless over your life when someone offers to empower you. You may benefit from programs, tools, and techniques, but not because they gave you something you didn’t have, but because you used the technique to do something for yourself.

For more on how to create personal power and gain mastery over your mind and your life check out the audio program in self mastery.

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