Do I Have a Chemical Imbalance ?

 

I don’t know everything, but I am willing to be open minded and learn.

I occasionally get asked by people who want to know whether they should take anti-depressants or other medications to treat their various mental and emotional symptoms.  To be clear, I do not give advice on such matters. First of all I am not qualified in that department.  I have not studied the various drugs, what symptoms they each treat, or their efficacy.

I’ve heard and read from people that their medication(s) have saved their life and marriage. I’ve also heard and read from people who have spent time on medications and had no improvement to their condition, and then been troubled with increased side effects when they attempted to stop taking the medication.

What I can conclude is that there is not yet a simple bio-chemical explanation ad treatment for mental and emotional states like depression and anxiety.  No one has a magic pill.  Furthermore, each person’s situation is different. With that said, I think each person has to do what works for them.  I come from a practical engineering background, so my approach towards changing emotional states has always been to about doing anything that will help move a person in the direction of greater happiness.  I don’t have any single tool or practice that will completely do the job for anyone, but instead provide a toolbox of techniques and practices to address the myriad of beliefs and thoughts causing emotional suffering.  If a person chooses to use medication to treat their emotional and mental state, that is fine.  If it helps a person that is suffering to feel better, then by all means consider it.

My suggestion is to consider that the battle for internal peace and happiness can have other fronts as well, and to consider addressing the negative thoughts and false beliefs as well.  My personal approach has been through practical tools of mindfulness and awareness.   It’s not easy, even for my clients who aren’t starting out in a state of depression or extreme anxiety.  It takes motivation, time, practice, and persistence.  Not everyone has a ready reserve of these resources available when they start addressing their emotional state and behaviors with the intent to change them.

In short, I don’t think a person can address all that emotionally ails them with answer.  The sum of our emotional and mental state is a complex system.   For a person to address it comprehensively and effectively will take more effort than answering a single question about chemical imbalance.

A Wider Understanding of the Challenge

Some of the common thought about depression, and other emotions, has been that they are caused by a chemical imbalance.  This was first proposed in the 60′s when some studies showed a correlation between depression and low levels of neurotransmitters.  In spite of many studies, in the last 50 years there has been no evidence to prove a chemical imbalance causes depression or other mental illness and emotional disorders.

In the meantime, we could make a case for the exact opposite.  What if your mental and emotional state affected your physical chemistry?  Dopamine and serotonin levels might be correlated, but what if their level changes were caused by your emotional state instead of causing them?

Consider a scenario where you are going about your day and you imagine something bad happening.  It could be losing your job, ending up homeless, your partner cheating on you, getting in an accident, or just embarrassing your self in front of others.  The last one is the kind of thing that wouldn’t be as intense, but could also be something you could imagine numerous times a day.   Your imagination constructs an imagined scenario and in this scenario you experience the event happening to you.  Much like a dream, this is a day dream.  And much like a dream, our physiology and emotions can respond as if it were really happening.   The response from our emotions and physiology would be the same as if it were real.  Our body would be producing all sorts of emotions like fear, anxiety, embarrassment, shame, guilt, or anger, except the cause would be our imagination.

When that emotional and physiological response happens in our body neurons fire in our brain, our heart speeds up in a fight or flight response, and chemicals like adrenalin are introduced into the system.  The result is that you’ve just changed the chemical balance in your body because of what you imagined, thought about, believed, or the day dream you had.    You could do it right now just by imagining a horrific scenario and feeling your emotions and body respond.

While we might not notice any big negative thoughts or emotional reactions like ending up homeless very often during the day, but we might have a lot of little ones.  A little thought creates a little imagined scenario and releases a small amount of adrenaline  with other chemicals.  If you add up the number of negative thoughts during your day you might find dozens or hundreds of negative thoughts that your mind forms into scenarios that your physiology and emotions respond to.  One of these thoughts might not seem like much, but when you are having dozens or hundreds of negative thoughts, it can take a toll chemically and physically day after day.

What I propose is that you might very well have a chemical imbalance, but that’s not the cause of your emotional state, it’s just a symptom.  The cause of the emotional state like depression and anxiety is your thoughts, and beliefs.  These thoughts and beliefs can be conscious, however many of them may be unconscious to you.  It’s unlikely that you are aware of every thought that passes through your mind, or the beliefs that thought arises from.  However, this doesn’t stop your the neurotransmitters in your brain and nervous system from firing as well as a chemical and emotional responses.    There is more on how the mind affects our emotions in another article.  

I’m not an expert on brain chemistry, neurotransmitters, and the effect of things like dopamine levels.   But from what I can tell from reading articles on the matter, neither is anyone else.  No one has been able to tell what “normal” levels are, or how these things affect our emotions.   So far, the idea that a chemical imbalance causes depression or anxiety is just a theory. In the more than 50 years of studies, there has been no proof that depression, anxiety, or mental illness is caused by chemical imbalances.  On the other hand, it seems to have been disproven a number of times.   However these myth debunkings don’t seem to get as much press or marketing coverage from businesses that profit in the industry.

 

“Studies suggest that the popular drugs are no more effective than a placebo. In fact, they may be worse.”

“Yes, the drugs are effective, in that they lift depression in most patients. But that benefit is hardly more than what patients get when they, unknowingly and as part of a study, take a dummy pill—a placebo. As more and more scientists who study depression and the drugs that treat it are concluding, that suggests that antidepressants are basically expensive Tic Tacs.  Hence the moral dilemma. The placebo effect—that is, a medical benefit you get from an inert pill or other sham treatment—rests on the holy trinity of belief, expectation, and hope.”    Sharon Begley

Source:  http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2010/01/28/the-depressing-news-about-antidepressants.html

 

  The Chemical Imbalance Myth by Kas Thomas

“Then there’s the somewhat curious fact that tianeptine, an antidepressant marketed for many years under the name Coaxil in Europe and South America, is actually a selective serotonin reuptake enhancer (not inhibitor). So apparently, some depression is caused by too much serotonin.

Researchers who’ve tried to induce depressive symptoms in normal subjects by lowering their endogenous serotonin levels (through a well-known dietary trick) have consistently been unable to do so. (E.g., Salomon et al., “Lack of behavioral effects of monoamine depletion in healthy subjects,” Biological Psychiatry, 1 January 1997, 41:1, 58–64.) This elementary result is rarely discussed.”

Source:  http://bigthink.com/devil-in-the-data/the-chemical-imbalance-myth

So, in answer to that question, “Do I have a chemical imbalance?”  The answer might be yes.  But it doesn’t mean that those chemicals are the cause of your emotions, depression, or anxiety.  If this was an exact science then there would be a way to measure chemistry and prescribe the right amount of chemicals to balance the system.  But not only is there no way to effectively measure, but there is no guaranteed correlation with making you feel different.  You are likely to have as much luck by taking a placebo.

So where are those emotions coming from?  Those imbalanced chemicals and emotions, might just be byproducts from a negative thoughts or belief running through your head.  For practical exercises for changing the negative thoughts and beliefs try the Free Sessions of the Self Mastery Course.  

At the same time, my coursework and approach is not right for everyone, and maybe not right for certain people at certain times.  It is certainly not a solution for people in crisis, or for people in dangerous mental and emotional states.  A person’s path of solutions in addressing their needs depends on many factors including the severity of their emotional challenges, and the resources of time, energy, motivation, and clarity they have at the time.  It is naive to think that one could get all the clarity they need on this issue from one article, one person, or in one day.  Each person has to choose what is best for them.

I want to reiterate that I don’t know everything.  The last 20 years of my life has been an exploration of awareness, consciousness, emotions, thoughts, beliefs, and how they are all connected.  This is a fragment of our whole makeup, but from my experience, an important part of our make up.  It is also the most changeable.  That is not to say changing beliefs that affect our emotions is easy. I’m just sharing a small piece of the picture.

What I do know is that each person has to make their own choices.  This article is not a case against medication.  Mastering your mind and emotions is a challenge, and if medication helps people in challenging times, then good.  For others, it may not be the whole solution they are looking for, and they may want to expand their inquiry into changing the negative thoughts and false beliefs as these can be a cause of emotions as well.

Hope this helps people look at issues with a sense that there may be more than one thing to address.

 

Zion Retreat

 

Retreat to Zion National Park with Gary van Warmerdam.

On any one of these retreats or intensives the program will vary.  The program that we engage in will be a combination of what is needed for the people attending, and what inspiration brings.  The reason that each event is unique is because each person shows up with different needs, and inspiration is never predictable.

Even when a person attends the same event a second time, they don’t show up as the same person, they have different intents and needs for their life, and they are open to greater inspiration and love for themselves each time.

 

 

Self Acceptance vs Personal Growth

 

Does Self Acceptance Diminish or Lessen the Desire for Personal Growth?
Do we stop evolving if we really become accepting of our self? 

Dear Gary,

I just wanted to ask you how one can balance gaining more self-awareness and gain confidence without losing drive to improve one’s self? How can we balance self-improvement (which I think we can all agree each of us could definitely use) with being okay with who we are and liking ourselves where we are all as well?

Thank you for your time,  KC

 

Hi KC,
The short answer is”  How can we not?
Yet this may seem flippant, and not resolve the dilemma of the question. However, if you look at the question closely it has assumptions in which the dilemma is created.  Your question assumes that if we come to a state of self acceptance (read no longer judge our selves with rejecting criticism) then will some how stop changing, evolving and improving.  The hidden assumption here is that change, improvements, and growth only arise from rejecting criticism.     We might as well say, “the only way one can grow is through rejecting criticism,”  yet when we say it this way, it sounds ugly and untrue.  But the question seems to hide that assumption.  It may be that I am wrong about this as email doesn’t allow for any tone, attitude, emotion, etc.  So my assumption is that this is the belief in the implied subtext, or else there would not be a dilemma or a question.
Pivot the question to this:  What can inspire us to grow, change, and better ourselves?
I’ll fill in some of my answers: Beauty, Love, Compassion, Respect, Gratitude, Generosity.
When we see these attributes modeled in another, they inspire us to do the same.  It can be as simple as hearing an artist play a beautiful piece of music, and invokes the desire to play it that well our selves.  Or we witness an act of kindness and see the impact on others.  We witness the power it has to change a person and we decide to do the same. In these ways of Beauty, Love, Compassion Respect, etc we are inspired and grow far more than we ever could only by judgment.
Hope that helps.      Gary
I would like to ask, however, do you feel as though there is a place for judgement at times? I would agree that we can grow and improve much greater in the presence of inspiration than criticism and judgment, however such inspiration doesn’t always have an effect on us and isn’t even always there for us to experience (or at least very difficult to find or easily overlooked)… sometimes we need more of a “slap upside the head” if you will, to really make us realize how ugly our behavior is or has become. Our self image can be so misguided that we can think that we’re not so bad until we’re really harsh with ourselves. And I feel that sometimes the only time we really can get motivated to make needed changes in ourselves (no matter how much inspiration is around us) is to get mad at ourselves for not doing xyz
Hi Again KC,

We need clear feed back and we need to make assessments about things in terms of what we like, what we don’t like, what works, and what isn’t working. We also need awareness. If I am harsh with my words or angry and it hurts others at times I will continue as long as I am oblivious.  If I am aware, I will see how others respond and feel when I act that way.  That clarity will inform me and I have a chance to change.  However, many people who are wrapped up in their drama are not aware and so don’t notice the detriment of their behavior on others.  Because of this, it seems to take a “slap in the face” before they notice, or we notice what we are doing.  However, as a person becomes aware, they can change without the harshness.
To further complicate the matter, even if someone knows they are doing some thing angry and hurtful to someone else, they may not have the tools to change that behavior.  Often this is the case.  That person thinks about their behavior later, and berates themselves for days.   However, this berating, beating themselves up, self-judgment etc actually causes more emotional pain, and that can lead to more anger.  In this case the very self judgment that we expect to help with change actually creates more anger than reduces it.  It is helpful to be aware that self judgment and the “slap in the face” thing doesn’t necessarily lead to change either.  For effective personal change to happen we will need a good set  of tools, and to develop our awareness.  Judgment and criticism alone is not enough.  It is for this reason that I put together the Self Mastery Course. 
Things that I call “judgments” I specifically  mean are expressions of rejection.  That’s an expression of an unpleasant emotion.   I can so “No thank you.” with gratitude and appreciation, without expressing rejection.  So with this specific meaning in mind, no, I don’t believe we need to be judgmental.  I’ve gotten along fine without it the last 10 years.
And overall, I’ve changed a lot more through a self acceptance approach then through any criticism.
Hope that helps.
Gary
 

What is the Ego ?

 

The ego is an identity of our own construction, an identity which is false.  If we take all the beliefs of what we are – beliefs about our personality, talents, and abilities – we have the structure of our ego.  These talents, abilities and aspects of our personality will be attributes of our skills, but the mental construct of our “self” is artificial.  And while this description might make the ego seem like a static thing, it is not. Rather, it is an active and dynamic part of our personalities, playing an immense role in creating emotional drama in our lives.

When we have thoughts about our self that we agree with we construct a self-image.  The kinds of thoughts that contribute to the ego structure are:

“I’m not good at math.”
“I am smart.”
“My freckles make me ugly.”
“Nobody likes me.”
“I am better than you.”
“That was stupid of me.”

The ego hides behind the “I” and “me” in those declarative thoughts and statements about our identity.

When we have such thoughts and agree with even the slightest conviction that these ideas define us, then we are building, or reinforcing, an ego.  We first have these thoughts when we are kids, perhaps when we were teased on the playground, or when reprimanded or praised by a teacher or parent.  In all cultures, developing a self-image is a normal part of socialization.  Problems arise, however, when that self-image is negative, inaccurate, or even overly positive.  Considering that we develop our concept of “self” as children, it is inevitable that our self-image doesn’t map to reality as adults.

The Ego Unmasked

Why is the ego so hard to explain or describe?  The ego is difficult to define because the ego isn’t one specific thing.  It is actually made up of many different beliefs that a person acquires over their life. Those beliefs can be diverse and even contradictory.  To further complicate it, each person’s ego is different.  If someone were to clearly identify and describe all the parts of their ego and what it drives them to do, you might not get a good description of what yours looked like.  The challenge of becoming aware of what your personal ego looks like becomes more difficult because our culture doesn’t reward us for directing our attention inward and noticing such things.

How to Spot the Ego

The ego is difficult to see, because it hides behind opinions that appear true – our attachment to descriptions of our identity – and because we haven’t practiced looking.  You can get a glimpse by noticing certain thoughts, similar to those listed above.  The easier way to spot the ego is by the trail of emotional reactions it leaves behind: Anger at a loved one, a need to be right, a feeling of insecurity in certain situations, feelings of jealousy that are unexplained, the need to impress someone, and so on.  These emotions can be attributed to the false beliefs that comprise the ego.  In the beginning it is easier to see the symptoms of resulting emotions and drama, rather than the ego that caused it.

One of the most deceptive aspects of the ego is that it generates powerful emotional reactions, and then blames us for how it made us feel.  The anger we react with comes from ego based beliefs of being right and “knowing better’ than someone else.  Perhaps there is also a victim interpretation of betrayal or injustice underneath.  After we overreact with anger we might feel badly for what we expressed.  The ego shifts to a “righteous self” that “knows better” and berates us for overreacting with anger.   At the same time, it assumes the identity of being the “stupid idiot” that didn’t know any better and takes the blame for overreacting.  All these attitudes, thoughts, and beliefs take place in the mind, and even though they are completely different, we assume all of them come from us.  If they really were expressions coming from our genuine self, they wouldn’t contradict, and we would be able to stop them.

To the unaware person, it is difficult to discern the difference between what is ego and what is really them.  They are left to wonder, “What came over me that I reacted that way?”  Even their post-emotional analysis lacks the consideration to see the different parts of their belief system at work as separate from themselves.  As a result, everything they express is blamed on “themselves” by one of the condemning voices in their head.  In effect, the ego hijacks the analysis and turns it into a self-criticism/blame process.  When the ego controls the self-reflection process you have no chance of seeing the root cause of your emotional dramas, as the ego reaffirms itself and hides in the self-criticism.

Is the ego arrogant or insecure?

“Having an ego” is usually associated with arrogance and is a term used to describe someone who thinks they are better than others.  Yet this is only one part of the ego.  In fact, it is possible to have some positive self-esteem and some negative self-esteem – we are aware of these different beliefs at different times.  The negative beliefs about our self make up our negative self-esteem, while our positive thoughts comprise our positive self-esteem.  Together, the negative and positive esteem forms our ego.

Quite often, these two aspects of our personality are nearly equal in magnitude and offset each other emotionally.  A person who is very hard on themselves with their inner critic may have feelings of worthlessness.  This is a painful emotion to live with, and in order to mask the pain, they might cover it up with bravado, projecting an image of security and confidence, all the while struggling with feelings of insecurity, worthlessness and inadequacy.

Arrogance is markedly different from the confidence that doesn’t come from ego.  A person can be completely confident in their ability, skill, or self-acceptance, without letting it “go to their head” and impacting their interactions with others. And while humility may often be mistaken for shyness and insecurity, a person of true humility is fully present and at peace with themselves and their surroundings.  Confidence without arrogance, humility without insecurity, these are manners of personality that are without the self-image dynamics of the ego.

Letting Go of the Ego

Because the ego has multiple aspects, it is not practical or effective to dissolve all of it at once, nor is it likely that you could do so.   Much like a tree or large bush that is overgrown in the yard, you don’t just lift it out and throw it away – you cut off manageable pieces instead.  The same approach is effective with letting go of the false beliefs that make up the ego. You begin by detaching from individual thoughts that reinforce the ego, then let go of beliefs, separating yourself from the false identity of your ego.

We have spent years building our ego self-images, living inside of them, and reinforcing them.  Extracting our genuine self out of this matrix of false beliefs will take more than a few days.  Yes, it will take a while… so what.  It also took a while to learn to read, do math, walk, and develop proficiency at any valuable skill.  Things worth doing take time and practice.  What better thing do you have to do than let go of what is causing you unhappiness?

For a practical step-by-step process in identifying and changing the core beliefs that comprise the ego, sample the free sessions of the Self-Mastery series. 

 

 

Cage of the Ego

 

Gary:

I started the (Self Mastery) course a few months back. Today I sat down and envisioned myself in the last situation through which I had so much jealousy, anger, bitterness and resentment. I was telling my story, when I got to the end I could still see my virtual self at the end of my story and I started to open my eyes when I realized that my virtual self was looking at something that I hadn’t seen before.

She was in front of a cage, with bars all around it like a cell. Inside, it was sparse and cold but she recognized it somehow. It was where she had lived, where she had been comfortable and safe for so many years.  Each bar represented a bar for anger, a bar for mistrust, a bar for jealousy, for hate and all the negative emotions that she had surrounded herself with. These bars had protected her, because it was comfortable and too scary to open up the cell and step outside. She was miserable, but there was comfort in her misery.   It was scarier to open the cell and walk outside. As an observer, I was thinking, “those bars will take a hacksaw and years to take down”, but my virtual image kept looking at the bars, and she saw them softening and beginning to melt. Then I noticed she was looking at the cell from the outside.

Thank you for sharing these pathways, that will be a guide to find my own way, and continue my journey outside that cage.

JM

 

The virtual self is an the ego. It can encompass many aspects of our personality and drive our emotions, often unpleasant.  The ego can hold us in a cage of that virtual self.  It has bars made of beliefs as diverse as righteous anger, and feeling powerless of our sadness.  The ego is constructed from the beliefs we have about our self, thus creating a false identity held virtually in the mind.

The ego is sometimes referred to as our shadow.

The ego is sometimes referred to as our shadow